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An Open Letter to the Woman for Publicly Body Shaming my Mom

Did you know that 94% of women have been body-shamed in their lifetime?

Never in a thousand years would I think this would affect my mother or me.

While in Palm Springs this past week, I noticed my mom was in pain. I carefully approached her. She looked up at me with a solid tear rolling down her cheek, her shaking hand, she passed her phone to me. There I saw the unthinkable. Something every teenager dreads of seeing about themselves, but this was about my mom, a grown woman shaming my mom for the self-confidence she has gained, and her beautiful new body.

How did so many people know that this post was about my mom? Well, hours before it went LIVE, my mom had posted a picture of her in a tube top and a bikini on instagram, and the comments below her post, made it clear. It was clearly about my mom. Some she saw defended her, and some she saw did not.

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Now, when this woman wrote this post, she probably didn’t think about the thousands of other women she would be insulting. You might think I am overreacting, or just being overprotective of my mom, but I go to a school where we learn about things like this and how they are not acceptable.

Let’s start with thousands of other women who probably wear bikinis and tube tops. First of all just because you are a mother doesn’t mean that you must stop wearing bikinis. I know I’m only fourteen right? So, what would I know about mothers and how they should act, but I know that if being yourself means wearing cute bikinis and cute outfits, then do it. Saying that because you have a “mom blog” means that you can’t post cute pictures of yourself that you are proud of is a bunch of BS.

Next, let’s go to me. I actually help style and take all of her photos, so you can imagine my frustration when someone put on the internet that pictures like that were not allowed to be part of “mom blogging.” First of all, you did no create the rules for mom-blogging, so who are you to say what can and can’t be posted. I’m sorry, but that is WAY out of your boundaries.

I can tell you right now that my mom works extremely hard for her body and no one deserves to wear tube tops and bikinis more. Plus, the picture my mother had posted in a tube top was in her pajamas. JEEZ, even some women will judge what others SLEEP in? It’s not right.

The writer of the Facebook post also claimed that she was a “Real Mom.” I’m sorry, but who the heck are you to say that my mom isn’t “real.” And what makes you the judge of what makes a mother so real. Just because my mother is showing bits and pieces of her personality through her clothes and swimwear does not make her fake. That’s not how it works.

No one is yelling at you for what you wear or how you wear it because you are being yourself, and no one should get beat up for being themselves. If you have a body that you are proud of, then you should own it. Just because you don’t like the way, someone dresses does not mean you can publicly take a stab at them for what they wear.

We have a word at school for people like that; it’s called a bully. And you doing what you did is just unbelievable. The message you conveyed with that one sentence was enough to tell me something about you. You only like people that are similar to yourself. If anyone dresses differently or has a different personality, then they are not considered good enough. Guess what? People are going to be different that’s how the world works, and the sooner you can accept that the sooner everyone else around you can be happy.

The author of the Facebook post might read this, or might not, but to everyone else who reads this, please remember: I am growing up in this world. I do not want to grow up in a world where it is ok to do things like this. I want to leave the world better than I found it and it’s people like this that make it hard to do that. That is why I am writing this post.

don’t worry, be happy 💛 #wearehappyplace

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I want people to know that it’s okay to dress how you want, and it’s okay to be yourself – and “yes” I also wear tube tops. I’m aware that this is a very, very small case of body-shaming and some might not even see it as that, but I just want everyone to know that it’s alright to look the way you want to look. And if you don’t like the way you look, then it is okay to want to change. At the end of the day, no one should be judged for being themselves no matter how you show it. My mom is an incredibly caring, and loving person. The person who posted this, and those who backed it cannot say the same about themselves.

Ella is the OC Mom Blog teen blogger. She is an integrated arts student at the Orange County School of the Arts by day, and a fashionista by night. She loves baking, teddy bears and nice people. Read her column here
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  1. People need to be more concerned with themselves and not others. Most likely the person was/is jealous of your Mom and decided to use high school tactics. I am sorry people can’t be nicer. Our world seems to have a lot of issues lifting each other up instead of tearing one another down. Women should be encouraging each other— it just makes me sad. Tell your Mom to keep her chin up!!

  2. Such a lovely post Ella! I am so proud of you for the lovely young woman you have grown into. Always be you! This post made me tear up. You go girl!❤

  3. This whole post made me smile. You go, Ella! You and your Mom look fantastic and just keep living your best life!

  4. I agree 100% with Becky. Sounds like this other person is just jealous and frustrated with her own self. Not a single person in this world is perfect. You and your mom are beautiful. I know your mom has worked hard to have the body she has. I kinda wish I had her discipline. Keep smiling and being you!

  5. What a great post! Your mom is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met and she looks beautiful! She should be very proud andt that bully should be ashamed.

  6. This is so awesome Shelby! If you ever wondered about your parenting skills, this post should absolutely put your nerves to rest! Way to GO Ella!! 🙂

  7. So proud of you Ella! Excellent post. Your mom is a wonderful woman. Her wardrobe or for that matter her figure don’t define her, but I’m happy to see her wearing both with confidence. I know how hard she has worked all along. Much love to both of you.

    Oh and should the poster of the hateful comment be reading this, next time feel free to just unfollow the blog and or person that is so annoying to you. Yeeeeesh.

  8. Ella

    Congrats on a well written post and Shelby you keep posting those selfies. Being overweight I have dealt with my fair share of body shaming. Yes it hurts but at the end of the day, we can stand tall and proud that we love who we are and you have worked hard and undergone your fair share of stuff to be where you are! Gorgeous inside and out. And as for the Real Mom comment, last time I checked real moms are the ones that are living and breathing and working hard at life and raising their families and you fit that description.

  9. Great post Ella! And your mom looks fantastic… I am totally jealous of her fabulous body!!!

    You’re right that it is totally NOT okay for people to make comments like that. And I’m so sorry that your mom and you had to experience this.

  10. Well written, Ella. You and your mom are beautiful!

  11. Ella I’m so proud of you. You wrote from the heart and what you said was completely dead on. Hopefully your post will inspire those who judge to think twice. Keep on spreading the love and happiness.

  12. Whatever your mom is doing she is doing right – she raised you. You are amazing standing up for your mom. People can be awful and mean – especially when they are behind the screen. She must be really proud of you!! Keep being you and your mom shouldn’t shed 1 tear over the post – she’s amazing too.

  13. This is an amazing post! Your mom is clearly doing many things right. If my daughter grows to have half the confidence you do, then that’s a major win. Good for you in not only standing your ground but recognizing that this is in no way acceptable. It is truly sad that some people must put others down in order to life themselves up. You are right…it says a lot about that person.

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