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How to Transition to Single Motherhood

Becoming a mom is one of the poignant events in a woman’s life. The happiness you feel is like no other and you feel content knowing you have your partner to share the responsibility of child rearing. But if the joy of being married starts to feel more like discontent, even if you’re still cordial, separating usually follows.

The Separation Period

Deciding to get a divorce is never easy. Emotions are running high, so when there’s children involved, the situation is even more delicate. As a mom, you’ve probably run the gauntlet of emotions, namely fear of the unknown. But being a single mom isn’t what it was before. While there are more physical and emotional demands, it’s possible to streamline the transition.

Standing Your Ground

There will always be those few people who think you should suck it up and find a way to save your marriage. However, even if your friends and family think you should try to make things work, the minute you feel your marriage can’t be saved, the transition to single motherhood begins. Granted, there are many marriages that do survive a rough patch but still weather the storm. But when the thought of investing more time into your marriage brings about a feeling dread, you need to do what’s right for you. Staying together because you have children never works, especially if there was already marital strife.

Whether you just feel out of love or your marital discord for a long time, the transition to single parenthood is frightening. In addition to the emotional ups and downs of getting divorced, you’re now a single mother who needs to not only live on her own, but also support another person financially. This thought alone can be terrifying, especially if your children are young and you were not actively working.

At this stage, you need to think about your financial stability. If you’re going back to work, then a majority of the stress may already be lifted. However, if your children are very small and you can’t afford daycare, you need a financial plan. In addition to your separation and child support agreement, you still need a nest egg that you only use in case you stumble upon some financial hardship.

There are plenty of free resources online that give step-by-step instructions on building an emergency fund. For instance, you can review a guide on how to cash out your life insurance policy and then stash the money in an account that accrues interest. This gives you that much-needed peace of mind, allowing you to focus yourself and your children.

The New Family Unit

Divorce doesn’t mean you’re not a real family anymore. If you’re not on good terms with your ex, all it does is make your family unit just a little smaller. But there are many divorced parents who take co-parenting to the next level and spend a lot of time together happily. Getting divorced and defining your new family unit doesn’t always need to be ugly. The goal should be creating the most peaceful situation for everyone involved.

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